Tech Scorpion Top 5 – 5 Science Fiction Imaginings “They” Need to Hurry Up and Invent

We’ve all got things we lie in bed at night and think about when we can’t sleep. Usually I think about the future, and all that deep stuff. But this invariably descends into the realms of inventions, and of course science fiction, the coolest of all the fictions. So the other night I decided that these were the top 5 inventions that need to happen next. The list is final. The list is subject to change.


Time Machine

OK, so there’s been lots of variations on what a time machine looks like, but at the end of the day they all do the same thing. I went with the HG Wells version of the machine, because it was steampunky before Whitby made it acceptable. It looks comfortable, and I like pressing levers and buttons. It also has a pleasant spinner doodah at the back which adds to its cool factor  (The 1960 movie is one of my favourite films, the cheeky cannibalistic Morlocks are some of the best monsters created in science fiction IMHO). I appreciate that Mr.Wells just wants to explore the future, too. That way he can steal ideas without that pesky butterfly effect going on to affect him. It’s selfish, but it works.


I had to add this in. You can’t write about futuristic gadgets and not include the hoverboard. I want my hoverboard. Why is no one thinking about hoverboards? Hoverboards. I once had an idea (I think I was about 7) that if we put magnets in our shoes, and made magnetic tracks everywhere, the opposing force would make us hover around. A couple of decades later that idea still seems perfectly logically to me, because I’ve never bothered to look into the mathematical forces involved to create such a thing. Well, I’ve had a look now. It turns out there is a hoverboard. Apparently. Hendo Hover reckon they’ve got a hoverboard.  There’s no video evidence on the site to back this claim up, but great Scott I want to believe them. They seem to have a careers section too, so please, all intelligent people of the world go help them make this happen.

Deep Space Sleeping Tubes

You can’t really have a space story without somewhere on board the ship for the good astronauts to sleep for weeks/months/years. Science fiction has it covered, in various ways it has to be said. The most appealing to me looks to be the Nostromo (minus the Alien). It doesn’t have tubes, liquid, or electrical wiring it seems. You just get in with your knickers on and out you pop when you arrive. In reality, we’re not going to get very far without this tech. We need a terraformed Mars so Arnie can get his ass there. NASA are looking into it, though it sounds rather unpleasant from their description. According to a statement released last year, “Instead of astronauts stepping into a tube and having their temperature lowered, torpor would be induced via the RhinoChill – a device that uses invasive tubes to shoot cooling liquid up the nose and into the base of the brain”… lovely.

Logan’s Carousel

I bet you weren’t expecting that one! I’m asking for a modified version of the carousel. Because, technically, the carousel just killed people before they were 30. And that’s not cool. But hear me out. What if you could “Renew” by floating up into space and then with a flash and a blip, your conscious was put into a new body. You were ‘reset’. I might not be too keen to go through puberty again thinking about it… How about you blinked back into a 20 year old body. The 20’s is an excellent decade to repeat! If you think this sounds like the desperate dystopia ramblings of someone who hits 30 in five months’ time then you are absolutely wrong. It’s four months.



I love a good robot. I have a “list” of films I can’t watch again because I find them too upsetting. If there is a robot in peril in the film, it’s probably on my list. (Yes, “Batteries not included” and “Short Circuit” are on there) I also love a bad robot. Be it evil, or just not very well made. (I’m looking at you, Box) I think it’s safe to say that everyone just loves Robots, and they need to hurry up and make them at a price whereby I can have one dancing around my living room. I want them to make me a delicious tea, and then go plug themselves in to recharge when I go to bed. Basically I think I’m asking for a jovial servant I don’t have to pay. But we would have some good laughs along the way no doubt, and I wouldn’t be mean to my robot. Unless they malfunctioned and tried to kill me.

Japan is a good place for robot progress. Not only do they have a robot restaurant, they’ve just opened a robot hotel. It has a Velociraptor on reception to help you check in. I could also tell you there are porter robots employed to carry luggage, and cleaning robots to keep the hotel spotless of their own accord. There is also a robot employed in the cloak room. But I think I had you at Velociraptor receptionist.


Photo by Nicholas Rumas

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