Tech Scorpion Top 5 – 5 Superheroes Going For Free

I enjoy a car boot. I went around one in Bridlington a few weeks back and was delighted to discover that roughly the exact same merchandise that was on sale twenty years ago is still on sale now. Captain Planet action figures tossed amongst mutant turtles and 80’s wrestlers.

I get a similar grubby, youthful enjoyment looking around someone’s attic, or reading through ‘for sale’ adverts. It’s a combination of nostalgic fondness mixed with an empathy for the unloved. Call me a sucker, but I always root for the underdog, even when it comes to the inanimate – the dustier, the better.

So, you can imagine my delight when I stumbled across the wiki for superheroes that had fallen under the wing of the “public domain”. Here was the car boot for comic’s golden age, a list of characters that came to life for various reasons… Now free for anyone who cares to bring them back to life one more time. Created to save the country, to save the world, or even the universe. And now floating in that public domain waiting to be called on again. Time makes fools of us all, heroes. Especially if you fell out of popularity in the first place.

And let’s be honest, some of these characters were either a cheap rip off of another comics character; or, the inspiration for what came to be a better character in another comic.  But for me that just gives them an extra charm. They are a product of our time of need, political in-correctness and all. Perhaps it would be better if they were left to symbolize their era, and left well alone to float about in that public domain void?

Do you know, I think there’s a story in that… The unpopular, forgotten, and just plain retired ‘ragtag’ bunch of heroes who join forces under the banner of the public domain alliance. Here’s who I am going to pick for the ‘Heroes: PD’ team.

  • Doctor Hormone – because every team needs the brainy professor sort.
    • (a man who appeared to be 25, but was really 75) Doctor Hormone was a scientific genius who developed powerful “hormones” which were capable of creating great changes in the human body, including restoring youth and transforming people into animals or bizarre human-animal hybrids. Oddly, although constantly referred to as a “youth hormone,” the hormone actually just turned everyone 25… including babies.
  • Captain 3-D – because everything is 3-D these days, he deserves a comeback.
    • Captain 3-D seems to posses the ability to traverse from 2-D to 4-D. In 3-D, his belt is able to use 4-D energy to give him the power of flight… Captain 3-D is the last of the people of D, who were exterminated 50,000 years ago by the Cat People. He has been preserved in 2-D, within the pages of the Book of D, which has been protected by a human gaurdian since the demise of his own people. Are you still with me?
  • Boom Boom Brannigan – how did this guy not get more stories?
    • Believes he can win any fight with ‘Science’, and goes on to prove it. After being smacked in the face by a book of greek mythology, he receives a vision and decides to fight only for justice though… Honestly, there’s been less tenuous reasons.
  • Animal Man (no, not THAT Animal Man)
    • I picked this fellow because he loves his animals, and well, every team needs the lone wolf sort. He prefers animals to people and uses the animals (he can speak to them, OK?) he lives with to go and kill hunters and other people who aren’t nice to animals. I’m assuming he is a vegetarian. Which might piss off Swamp Thing, I dunno. Shenanigans abound.
  • Bird-Man 
    • A lawyer with a magic knife. Every team needs one of those. This knife can do pretty much anything, so he’s like an even better Batman, really.

What do you think? Would you swap some of these for some even more obscure heroes that dwell in the Public Domain apartment skyscraper?

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